Lately something that has been bothering me is the feeling or fear of loosing my creativity. Every day I seem to battle with my self and my ever growing lists of 'things to do'. At the end of everyday I feel that sense of, 'have I done enough for today?'. What about that insta post, what about the image I wanted to take, the table I need to design, the colour pallet for next weeks shoot....oh gosh the shoot!! & so it goes. The mind then mulls over all my bullet points and I feel that pang in my chest, right tomorrows list. This feeling then reoccurs every night at about ten o'clock. This is where I then feel the creativity drifting away.
So what is it that is causing this. Other than the fact that I'm a worrier. Is it that I am thinking too much? The fact that I am thinking of all the elements of a business rather than just a creative one. Is it that Im not doing enough of the creative side of the business, or is it a very normal fear that most creatives have?
Being creative often comes with the trait to question ones ability, well in fact, to have this fear of achievement is a very human process no matter what your field is. The way in which we live our lives seems to perhaps promote this in someways. Constantly comparing your self with those around you. With social media being such a presence in many of our lives and our businesses, we see what people achieve daily. At the end of every day you then get to compare notes...but the only issue is, that you only see part of their notes. The polished, styled and edited version...not the fact that they may or may not have done most of their daily achievements in their PJ's! or even over a number of days!
When I begun this new venture there were so many elements that I wanted to be apart of. Learning all parts of a business, from social media and marketing (here I was totally learning from scratch), website building, buying, photography, and of course the most vital... the making and designing of my products. The element that was the back bone of my idea. Finding treasures and allowing them to tell their story with artful beauty.
This last week I met with such an eclectic mix of talented ladies with the "onegirlband' collective. Something that we all seemed to fear was 'were we doing it right?'. Where we creating what we wanted to create, and then gaining the right reaction from our onlookers. The funny thing was that a lot of those ladies are creatives that I follow on Instagram and think, they are doing SO well! Though, there they are asking the same questions as my self. Worrying over the same details.
Then a little light bulb went, Is the ever worrying and constant examination of what we are aiming to achieve what then impacts the craft.
When I paint, my entire body relaxes, I feel totally free. I move differently, I think differently, I can completely relax. It is this that I have always been addicted to when painting, when working on something that I actually didn't seem to plan to much before I begun. (unlike many other elements to my day) I don't feel that at ease in many tasks, the more I do actually do, the more I feel creative.
A tip shared by some of the girls was to separate the tasks that you have within your business, have days for social media, website and admin. Then have creative days. I feel that this perhaps may just be where to begin. Allowing your self to feel the sense of accomplishment that you have ticked those boxes and then all that is left is to create. What ever it is that you create, be it a pointer, a potter, a weaver, a photographer what ever you do...do.
After all that is why we are here isn't it?!