I have decided to begin more of a personal blog on here, separately to that of &hobbs where I wanted to focus on my creative life and projects. Within the 'words' blog posts il cover general thoughts and topics that pop up in this little head of mine.
Since becoming a mumma to our first little one, I have really struggled to define my self again and how I fulfil my aims as a mother and as an individual.
Something that I was fearful of in those last stages of pregnancy, was what kind of mother I would become and if I would suit it. Well I guess only Einar can answer that for you and he's unable to speak yet, unless it's a general sighing noise. However, I can say that the feelings that I have since his arrival have been so inward and utterly comfortable, something I did not except. With the thought that it would be a sing from the roof tops, lightning type change in emotion the reality is quite different. Almost as if I have always been a mum. Not in a slushy...this was my destiny kind of way...just simply this is how I feel kind of way.
Although, still being the same lady that I was before getting pregnant, the thought of my work, and the challanges that I aim to set my self never really left my mind. Within days I wanted to set about completing some of my tasks and to feel creatively and personally accomplished along side this new comfort that was having Einar in my life.
Initially, I tried to achieve all that I set my self before the arrival of my little man. That quickly exhausted me and I realised that whatever I was setting my mind to at the time, the other seemed to suffer. With a baby that was only days old this just did not feel natural. So I took some time to contemplate how I was going to balance this new life of mine and being all that I hope to be in both forms. With the help of friends and family around me I quickly felt confident that what I really needed to do was to set achievable tasks and time scales. Hopefully that enables me to tick things off the list and still feel confident in my mothering skills....those of which I am still getting the hang of and loving every minuet of (...well maybe those minuets between midnight and 5am are a little less loved!).
One thing that I have found invaluable is to ensure that every day I do somehting creative, even if that is simply taking a picture on my phone and editing whilst im breast feeding. Setting aside that little creative time for myself helps me feel like 'libby' not just 'mummy libby' and I have achieved an extra thing by the time I hit the hay that evening.
I know that I still have so much a head of me in all aspects of my life. Being a mum is going to continue to change and develop for years and years to come although, for now I feel that by writing things down and ensuring that I am honest with my self I can ensure that I can feel established and unique in a way that we all should on a day to day basis. S